Lily Storm

A personal take on beauty, life and dreams.

November 2013 archive

My day of solo writing at Zevenwacht

“I am having lunch at Zevenwacht Wine Estate…just me, my thoughts, a caeser salad and a glass of Rosé. The weather is perfect. Warm with a slight breeze. I need an iPad. No – correction…I don’t ‘need’ one…but would ‘like’ one :-) . For now, my note pad will have to do. It’s so weird, sometimes I forget how to write manually. I’m always typing on my ancient laptop, cellphone or office computer. And yet, I find the inspiration seems to flow better when I put pen to actual paper.

So the reason for coming out here is because I can. My time is my own. No kids, no spouse. I like it that way…for now at least.

Two years ago, in the midst of a very sudden breakdown of my marriage, and impending divorce that followed at the age of 30 – I never in my wildest dreams thought I would ever be okay again.

When I say ‘okay’, I mean able to enjoy the simple things in life. Food, laughter, sleep. I once told my mom, “I don’t find joy in anything anymore”. That was a dark moment for me. I didn’t know who I was. Or where I was going. There were days when I just didn’t see the point of getting out of bed. I never believed when people told me, “You’ll be fine. Time heals all wounds”. It is true though. Unfortunately intense heartache, a sense of failure and depression are emotions you have to go through. After all of that…there will come a time when you disover who you really are, and become able to examine the reasons behind the event.

It’s exciting to realize that there is a huge big world out there, just waiting for you to leave your mark on it.

3 major positives came out of my divorce:

1. I learned to drive

2. I lost 20 kgs

3. I now smile on photos

And you know what…I wouldn’t change a thing. Because what I have learned about myself is invaluable. I wouldn’t trade it or go back. Not even for the happy ending with two kids and a white picket fence. People come up to me and ask ‘How did you lose so much weight??’ My response is simple…”I got divorced!”. The look on their faces is that of shock and pity. It’s okay, I can laugh about it now!

If you can reach a point where you no longer feel as though you need a partner for validation…then you’re halfway there. I saw a therapist, and she is amazing. However, when she told me to ‘find myself and learn how to be happy and comfortable in my own skin’…I thought she was gone with the fairies. Totally not on the same page as me. This was because I wasn’t ready. I had to discover all of this in my own time.

I wish I had known then what I know now – before getting married at the age of 26. I would probably have been much better equipped to deal with the reality of being a fully-fledged adult and with life itself. Make no mistake…I am grateful for the experience, and the fact that I was able to reclaim a part of myself that could possibly have been hidden for the rest of my life.

It’s taken a lot for me to finally write this post. But if my story can give just one person a glimmer of hope…then my tears were not cried in vain”.

On the way… :-)

The estate’s Labrador

View from my table

So relaxed…I left feeling like this… xx

Are you brave enough?

I am a dreamer. I fantasize about escaping the rat race and doing only what I love and believe in.

It’s hard though. You are often stuck in a career that pays the bills, but offers no emotional satisfaction. So you carry on from day to day, trying to best to impress your boss and fit into whatever social situation exists among your colleagues. If you have a creative and entrepreneurial spirit – you’ll know exactly what I mean.

Turning 30 was terrifying. Now I am grateful. Because with age, comes self-acceptance and awareness. I no longer feel the need to appease people by providing the right answers just to ‘fit in’. It wasn’t an easy process…it’s literally taken me years. But once that light bulb gets turned on inside your head, you will know.

You will know exactly what makes you want to get out of bed in the morning, and what makes you want to pull the covers over your head and stay there. It takes a certain kind of bravery to follow your heart and pursue a dream. Monetary constraints, criticism from family and friends…are all factors that can extinguish your sense of purpose if you allow it to.

I am a work in progress, but from experience I can say…acknowledge your passion. Stare it straight in the face and put in the hard work.

So tell me…what is your current day job? And if you could quit tomorrow, and do something you’re absolutely passionate about – what would it be?

xx

 

Love your thick hair!

Photo courtesy of theberry.com

Best Cut: “If you have thick hair you are very, very lucky.  Most women would kill for a thick head of hair.” Stay away from short styles; your locks could end up looking like a wig if cropped too tightly. Instead, try an effortless layered cut like the one Jennifer Aniston wears.

Get the look: Do not let the stylist cut too much — you’ll want strands to fall at least past the shoulders. Request long layers around your face and throughout, which will create movement and take off weight, so as not to drag your hair down.

 

Matthew Mansoor

Celebrity stylist

Brand ambassador for TRESemmé